Life Hacks // Planning with Purpose

We're in the homestretch of 2015, and truth be told, I have mixed feelings about it. It's been a challenging year for me to say the least (the most challenging, since we're being honest), but I'm nervous about what's to come. Either way, good or bad, I want to be prepared. I'm not into new year resolutions, but I am a fan of attainable goal-setting and working towards goals with an actionable plan in place. What better time to start planning for success in 2016 than now? So, while I attempt to get my own stuff together, I figured I'd share the steps I'm going to take to plan with purpose.

Plan

The first step to planning with purpose is... to plan! However, it's not always as simple as it sounds. For me, planning includes praying, scripture studying, and soul searching to ensure that whatever plans are made line up with God's plans. 

Planning also requires honesty. What's the true purpose of the plan? If the plan has no purpose, there is no place for it. Is the motive sincere? Negative or vindictive motives aren't grown and sexy, let's just put it that way. Is the timeline suitable? Setting a realistic timeline is key, or else failure is imminent. Will unquestionable commitment be applied? Commitment is the element that will keep a plan in motion.

Prepare

Planning and preparation go hand-in-hand, but the steps are not the same. We can't know how to prepare for a goal without a plan first being in place. Preparation can include ending toxic relationships or restoring valuable ones, getting in shape physically or mentally, becoming spiritually aligned, or even acquiring the tangibles necessary to execute the plan that's been formulated. Whatever the case, a plan without preparation will be useless in the long-run.

Process

Lastly, preparation should help to strengthen the ability to be disciplined, to be patient, and to persevere, as enduring the process and processing the outcomes along the way are important throughout the plan execution phase. Additionally, self-evaluation and reassessment of the plan are sub-steps of the process.

The process should start right after the preparation phase is complete. If not, procrastination can creep in, and that is a step we all want to avoid. Let's not procrastinate; plan with purpose.

Life Hacks // How to Maintain a Clear Mind

If you're like me, overthinking is the norm. I overthink ev-er-y-thing, especially when I'm feeling particularly upset, excited, sad, annoyed, anxious, creative, busy, complacent, stressed... Do you see where I'm going here? My brain is always on overdrive. I hoard A LOT of thoughts and feelings in there; tons of stuff I really don't need, or that I need to release before they consumes me.

Overthinking / a cluttered mind can wear you out. I haven't mastered how to calm my mind down yet, but I recently (over the last few months) got to a point where something had to give, or I was literally going to go out of my mind. I was starting to feel like what those throwback public service announcements described – (Remember? "This is your brain. [Insert visual of an egg.] This is your brain on drugs. [Insert visual of an egg being fried.]" – only I never got to escape with a high. That had to change.

There are a few practices that have always helped me during the times when my overactive mind just wouldn't calm down, but I still had to operate effectively in my many daily tasks like the rest of us. I'm sharing them here now because I've grown to embrace and appreciate them more than ever of late. My personal favorites are: (1) prayer, (2) communication, and (3) having a creative outlet.

1. Pray
Suggesting prayer might sound like a cliché, or an "old church mother" saying, but let me tell you, even when you don't feel like it's working, it's helping. They say, "Prayer changes things," but really it changes us. When there are some thoughts, feelings, or even situations better left unsaid, prayer is definitely worth trying out. It's low-risk (unlike sharing with people, although if in the true form of confidence, sharing with others has its unique benefits as well), and it's therapeutic. For some, meditation provides the same benefits. I recommend both. Can't hurt.

2. Communicate
For consuming thoughts that result directly from relationships with others, we often forget the power of communication. Even if we genuinely want to communicate, we might hesitate due to fear of not getting our points across clearly, not being heard, or being looked at differently. Whatever the case may be, don't let fear stifle you. The alternative – harboring negativity, bitterness, resentment, anger, or even a positive thought that could blossom into something beautiful – is not worth it. Just ask the person or people for a listening ear before you start sharing, and pour your heart out. If it doesn't turn out as planned, you'll at least feel better about yourself for trying. Also, you can always try again.

3. Have a Creative Outlet
Releasing creative energy is one of my favorite ways to clear my mind and turn negativity into positivity. It's the main reason why I created this blog. I love having a space where I can be in complete creative control and have the freedom to be 100% me. Whether your creative outlet is writing, painting, dancing, creating music, or gardening, find something that you enjoy that takes you to a place where you can disconnect from reality for a while. After spending time doing something positive, it's hard to react to negative vibes again.

To my over-thinkers, here's to clear minds! 

How to Be Flawsome

H&M Dress | The Limited Blazer | New Look Shoes via ASOS

I've always known that I have my fair share of flaws. It took me a while (as well as some heartache and lost friendships along the way) to realize that it's not just me – no one is perfect. The good news is, flaws can be awesome. How? I'll tell you.

Be Honest

Fighting against pride and potential embarrassment and actually honestly acknowledging your flaws is the first step to becoming "flawsome." Instead of trying to be someone I'm not (which is literally impossible for me to anyway, I've tried), I came to terms with the fact that I'm an introvert, not very outgoing, too trusting, and I don't have the perfect body (who does!?). Once I acknowledged these so-called "flaws" about myself, I actually started to like them.

Be Positive

Embracing your flaws is easier said then done. It takes time, effort, prayer and even research. It's a process. However, it really boils down to thinking about how these imperfections actually make you... you. In my case, I realized that I enjoy keeping to myself. It just fits my lifestyle and contributes to my personality. It also balances out the extroverts in my life, which there are quite a few. My circle is small, but I know that the people who are in it genuinely want to be there, so that makes it OK. It also helps with the fact that I'm probably the most gullible girl you'll ever meet. If I was outgoing, I probably wouldn't have survived this long.

Be Your Best

Now, I'm not saying to give yourself excuses not to work towards being better. If your imperfections genuinely prevent you from being someone that other people want to be around (e.g. body odor or a bad attitude), then by all means, take care of those, ASAP! On the other hand, if your flaws are basically negative perceptions of yourself, decide which flaws you want to improve and which flaws you want to embrace, and be the best version of yourself you can be. You'll even amaze yourself with all of your flawsomeness.

Go get 'em.

2 Corinthians 12:5-10

Live Less Out of Habit and More Out of Intent

I’ve been seeing the quote, "Live less out of habit and more out of intent," floating around on social media for a while now. I must have scrolled passed it three or four times (you know, out of habit) before actually, intentionally absorbing the message and allowing it to inspire me to make some life changes. It’s amazing how being intentional versus habitual can be applied to so many areas of life if seeking fulfillment and achieving better results are the goals.

Professional

We’ve all done it at some point in our careers – gotten so caught up in the habit of completing tasks and sticking to plans we “know” work until we get derailed. One day, the routine just stops producing the right results. Or, yes, you’re meeting expectations, but never exceeding them. Now you’re functioning in your role at a level where anyone could do what you’re doing, or worse, do it better. What now? You’re forced to make a change, and fast, before anyone else (client, boss, or coworker) notices.

Performing above mediocrity can be avoided every day on the job by taking a moment to assess the different possible approaches for the assignment at hand and intentionally making the choice that you feel will knock it out of the park rather than just sticking to how you “always do it.” Each situation is different. Sometimes the right choice is what will get the job faster; sometimes it’s spending a little bit more time on the thought process; other times it’s enlisting help or a fresh perspective; quite often, it’s all of the above. The point is to be intentional; make a decision that you can stand by because you’ll be better able to explain the thought process behind it and own it.

Relational

As an overtime wife and mom, all-the-time daughter and friend, and sometimes everything else to everyone else, it’s easy for me to slip into a routine that barely scrapes the surface of each relational need. In today’s fast-paced world, we can get caught up in trying to be all things to all men all the time, not realizing that when it comes to relationships, quality over quantity is almost always the winning strategy.

I’ve grown to appreciate making memories with the people I care about versus sticking to predictable relationship habits that are too easily taken for granted. Routines are necessary when it comes to making sure every person gets attention, but being intentional about engaging with each person gives them the attentiveness they really deserve.  

Personal

Our lives can get to the point where we are solely governed by habits and routine that we forget why we’re doing any of what we do in the first place. Whether we want to adopt a hobby, take a vacation, write a book, or start a new career or business, we make the excuse that our habitual obligations take priority, preventing us from taking action outside of the norm. In other words, habits created by the life we live for the super-ego (what pleases others or society) convince us that the life we want to live for ourselves to truly enjoy what we’re doing needs to take a back seat. This is a myth that can be dispelled by simply making intentional decisions.

There are three types of people: those who make this happen, those who watch what happens, and those who wonder what happened. (I've heard this said a million times, but it recently hit home during a webinar.) In essence, the people who make things happen have only one real advantage over the watchers and the wonderers: they are intentional about what they are doing. They are paying attention and getting hands-on involved with their realities. That’s what real living is – living less out of habit and more out of intent.

30 Before 30

It's my birthday week! I will be 27 – not 30 as the post title probably misleads. However, because I will be marking the close of another blessed year of life, I thought it fitting to share a personal list I developed in my early 20s of thirty things I hope to accomplish before I turn 30.

1. Live alone  –  I had the opportunity to live alone at a young age up until I was married, and I am very grateful to have had the experience. I learned so much about life and myself which came in handy for marriage.  
2. Earn my Bachelor's and Master's degrees – I hold a Bachelor of Science Degree in Communications and a Master's Degree in Business Administration. Sometimes I think about going back to school. Right now is not one of those times.
3. Fall in love, plan a wedding, and get married – I have a wonderful husband of 4.5 years to prove it!
4. Be actively involved in at least three church ministries  –  I'm actively involved in the hospitality ministry and the media ministry at Pentecostal Tabernacle as well as a staff member of Apostolic Camp International.
5. Be a bridesmaid in a wedding – This seems like a silly goal, but it stems from cherishing the value of and feeling cherished in a friendship. Thanks to my good friend Karian who got married last year, I was able to cross it off of my list!
6. Invest in a quality black handbag – Again, thanks to Karian, she invested in one for me. Gotta love her.
7. Train for and run a half marathon  – Yeah.
8. Lose 10lbs 20lbs – All credit belonging to my son (OK, and maybe a little bit to my horrible eating and workout habits), I totally backtracked on this one.  
9. Hang up photos from my wedding in my home – Long story. But long story short, 4.5 years later this goal still has not been reached.
10. Redesign my blog – Reflecting on my old design, I'm so glad I took care of this goal sooner than later.
11. Go on a 40-day fast – The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.
12. Develop a better/stronger relationship with my husband and family – I am SO happy to report that I have grown leaps and bounds since creating this list. Of course, there is always progress to be made, but trust and believe my relationships are not where they used to be.
13. Do something spontaneous – I'm still working on this one. I am NOT the spontaneous type.
14. Move to a new city (even if only temporarily for a job or ministry opportunity) – My husband and I were on the verge of making this a reality several times, but now that our son is here, this may be a tough one. We'll see!
15. Have a baby – This totally happened. Check my Instagram.
16. Grow my hair passed BSL – My hair is at BSL now, which seems to be its plateau. However, my goals have changed. I'm going more for strength and thickness than for length. I've never been disciplined enough to keep up with a hair regimen, but I started one last week. Let's see how well I do.
17. Learn Spanish (again) – I was fluent in Spanish throughout undergrad as a result of several years of high school and college Spanish classes under my belt coupled with working in a largely Hispanic community. I'd really like to regain my confidence in the language and pass it on to my son. I believe it would be one of the greatest gifts I could give him.
18. Go on a European Tour and/or visit South Africa – As of right now, I'm leaning towards setting the firm goal to do both. I'm hoping to tackle Europe in 2015 (previously, I've only been to the UK) which may leave room for me to visit South Africa the year after or definitely before I'm 30.
19. Volunteer and get more involved in my community – Within the last month, I volunteered to become a mentor with Women of Tomorrow, a not-for-profit mentor and scholarship program for at-risk girls in the public high school system. I was actually a beneficiary of the program myself when I was in high school, so I consider it a great honor to now be numbered among the elite group of WOT mentors.
20. Reach personal financial goals – I almost crossed this one off, but after giving it some more thought, there is just one more financial goal I'd like to accomplish before I do.
21. Complete 14 bible classes – To-date, I have completed 8, but I haven't taken a bible class in over a year. My schedule is so hectic right now, but it's a desire of mine to get back on track with bible classes. I must make time for the Word of God, and I found that taking bible classes was the best way for me to do that.
22. Reach personal blogging goals – My goals used to be numbers-based, but they aren't anymore. Now I want to focus on quality over quantity. Stay tuned.
23. Try a signature dish from all 196 countries – My husband doesn't think I can do it. I admit, I have doubts myself, but I'm positive that I have the appetite for it. 
24. Go skiing – Since I'm absolutely not going to sky dive, this will suffice.
25. Earn a senior level position at my place of employment – Woop, woop! You're reading the blog of a Senior Account Executive of a public relations firm, ya'll! It was a challenge to get to where I am, but it's definitely made me a stronger, more focused person and a better employee. Now, I have even higher professional goals to reach.
26. Do something fashionable or artistic that I’m proud of and will last forever – Thanks to my collaboration with Made By, I was able to design a dress! Love it.
27. Own a home (with a yard) with my husband – We. Are. So. Close.
28. Host a holiday dinner – We hosted Thanksgiving for 22 people last week! It was A-MAZING!
29. Vote in a state or city election – I missed the last one, but don't judge me. I'll have another chance before the big 3-0.
30. Read 30 books – See, what had happened was... I need to get on this one. I think I'm on book number two. Readers are leaders, and I do read. I have to read the news and articles to stay up-to-date on my clients' industries. However, reading for leisure is important to me, and I vow to make time for it.

There you have it, folks. This list was very personal to me, but I'm glad I shared it. It inspired me to hold myself accountable and reach the 17 goals that haven't yet gotten crossed off. Maybe I'll check in next year and update you all on my progress. Wish me the best!